“Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.”
We pray so often for things to happen and to happen our way. I am completely guilty of this, as my prayer this past week has been to let the last referral we need, the last T to be crossed and I to be dotted, be approved. Never once this week have I stopped and prayed for God’s will to be done for Nathan. While, I whole heartedly believe we are on the right path for Nathan and we are doing what is God’s will for him, I have only earnestly prayed for the outcome that I deem worth while.
I truly believe that God wants to hear our prayers and He wants them to be specific. He wants to know the desires and yearnings of our heart, but He also wants us to be accepting and trusting when things don’t go exactly our way. I’ve prayed very fervently and specifically for things to happen in my life, that never happened. Yet never once have I ever looked back and thought, ‘Things would have been so much better if they had just gone my way.’ My God is faithful and just and I have to have faith in that, in the little things and in the big things.
We fly to Dallas two weeks from today. Airfare, rental car, hotel reservations have already been paid for, not by just Brian and I, but for my parents as well. I literally tremble at the thought of this last referral not being approved, but I have to trust and have faith that God knows what’s best for Nathan. And that for whatever reason, if this last referral isn’t approved, there is a reason. ‘I want your will to be done, not mine.’